An Impromtu Soirée !

An ordinary Saturday evening became extraordinary !!

How?

By just barging into a friend's home!!

Why? When we speak, message and WhatsApp. Occasionally we check on each other, birthdays are acknowledged and difficult moments are responded to with hearts, folded hands and carefully chosen emojis. So technically, we are in touch.

But… as I sat across from my friend on the couch with my warm cup of tea in my hand… I realised that ..

And that brought a thought to mind.. Are we losing the ability to connect and bond because everyone is an emoji away or a click away?

We have never been more connected!! That is a strange contradiction in today's modern life.

The Paradox of Our Time

Our phones are rarely more than a few inches away from us.

Someone can be thousands of miles away and we can reach them within seconds.

We can send a photograph instantly. We can share a thought while standing in a supermarket queue. We can send a heart instead of saying, "I love you." A laughing face instead of hearing someone laugh. A sad face instead of saying, "I'm struggling." A thumbs-up instead of, "I understand."

And perhaps that is where something subtle has begun to change.

Messaging was supposed to make communication easier. But I sometimes wonder whether it has made conversation harder.

Because conversation requires something from us that messaging does not.

But instead we Emojify our conversations…

The Gift of Inefficiency

Don't get me wrong… I love emojis. I use them constantly too… sending a hug to my children or a funny one to make them laugh.

There is something wonderfully efficient about them. One tiny symbol can convey affection, amusement, sympathy, frustration or gratitude.

But efficiency is not always what human relationships need.

Sometimes emotions should be inefficient. Sometimes they need ten minutes rather than ten seconds. Sometimes we need to stumble over our words. Sometimes we need to hear the hesitation in someone's voice before they tell us that everything is not fine.

It is the P-a-u-s-e before they say it… it's the S-t-u-t-t-e-r to find the right words… it's the Deep Breath they have to take before they are able to express.. its their Restless or Excited body language.. its watching them Hold back the sadness by Biting their lip or watching them Fall off the sofa with laughter.. its Completing each other's sentences and sometimes stories… the spontaneous Laughter that's infectious.. the Jiggling body with the burst of laughter after a silence.. the Humour in the satire.. the stories that become secrets.. the Modulations of their Tones..

The feeling … "I may be vulnerable but feel safe in your presence"….. is there a specific emoji for that..

What We Gain, What We Lose

Technology has given us something extraordinary — connecting with our loved ones that are cities, countries and even continents apart.

Grandparents can see and be an active part of their grandchildren's lives. Lost friendships are revived. Careers and opportunities become more accessible!

My battle isn't against technology. Perhaps my battle is with myself — with the fear of losing the vocabulary to convey my true feelings.

Typed words can be beautiful and deeply sincere.

But spoken words have a different vulnerability.

Once spoken, they exist between two people. You see how the other person receives them. There is no delete button. No editing. No carefully chosen emoji to soften the moment.

The Meaning of Presence

That Saturday left me thinking about the word CONNECTION.

We use it constantly. We have internet connections, mobile connections, professional connections and social-media connections.

But Human Connection is something different.

There is something meaningful about somebody travelling to see you. There is something meaningful about setting aside an afternoon. About putting your phone away. About a simple meal. About opening that bottle which one had picked months ago carefully to enjoy with a friend.

Maybe that is why Saturday felt different.

There was no occasion to celebrate. No elaborate plan. No weeks of trying to find that elusive date when everyone was free.

Just an ordinary Saturday evening, a friend's couch, a warm cup of tea, an unexpected meal, a bottle waiting to be opened… and hours of conversation.