MOTHER – A Love That Never Left
Every year, Mother’s Day stirs something deep in my heart—a mix of love, gratitude, and an ache that never really goes away. This year marks ten years without my mother, and yet she is with me in every breath I take and in every little thing I do.
For many she was Saiba, Pichri & Mrs Chowdhury but for her children she was transcendent.
This Mother’s Day, I dedicate this to all the mothers who leave a piece of their heart with every child they raise. To the ones who hold us close, teach us, fight for us, cheer us on, and carry us through life with their strength every single day.
“Thank you” for a lifetime of quiet sacrifices, unconditional love, and endless strength.
My mother was my best friend, calm in my chaos, my warrior queen, the epitome of grace with the biggest heart and the glue that held our world together.
‘The Tough, strong, bold tigress of our fort
Yet she would melt like a tear drop, with a heart of Gold’
The warmth of her lap made me forget every worry in this world. I will never forget her caress, her gentle scolding wrapped in softness, holding me so I wouldn’t fall, wiping my tears, sharing in my joys, never letting me sleep hungry, always waiting for me to return home safe.
I could talk to Maa about everything: silly jokes, random gossip, my dreams, secrets, burnt recipes, my failures, and my wins. No matter my mood, she would always find a way to make me laugh.
The only difference now is that I don’t pick up the phone. I just close my eyes and talk to her, because I know she has never really left my side. She couldn’t have—not by choice and I understand that even more now, being a mother myself.
We were like peas in the same pod. My Dad used to say we were bonded like in those old tales where a king’s life is tied to a parrot and for her, it was the same with me. If I was hurt, she felt the pain too. All mothers can resonate with that feeling.
Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease, and mine certainly did. Being a working mother, she juggled priorities—work, home, social obligations, making sure nothing crashed. In all of this, she had no time for herself, and I hardly ever had one-to-one time with her. So, whenever I could, I would grab the opportunity to sneak into her blanket early in the morning just for that hug, that “nalmut,” and it would energise me for the rest of my day. 🤍
Educationist and Retirement
Maa was a great educationist, formerly Principal of Kendriya Vidyalaya. She believed education should be accessible to all. Even after stepping away from formal teaching, she kept shaping lives in quiet, powerful ways.
Growing up, she taught all our house helps to read and write, making sure they passed exams and found suitable jobs to support their families with dignity, doing greater good for society. Educational empowerment, self-reliance, and perseverance were causes close to her heart.
My mother shaped many great minds, yet she never stopped shaping her own until her last day. Whether it was learning to drive, mastering tech or navigating social media, she was never too shy to learn something new- a relentless learner!
That lesson will always stay with me- never limit learning by age or circumstances, you’re a lifelong learner.
Maa was truly inspiring, much ahead of her time, always willing to explore new paths and possibilities, not afraid of trying. Like-minded people were few from her generation, yet she stood her ground, fought for what was right, and even when she did not always win, she always tried.
Even after retirement, she never slowed down. She joined voluntary organisations, did charity work, and helped manage our housing society in Delhi. Helping and giving back to the society was simply who she was.
Maa, believed deeply in giving and spreading love and compassion in every circumstance. Even when her kindness was not always received as she hoped, it never deterred her. She continued to give with an open-heart inspiring those around her through the quiet strength of her compassion.
A bond beyond time
I will never forget the fateful day, 23rd December 2015, when Maa called me at work & said in Kashmiri “Khokhe chue aamut” (meaning Big C) had come for her. She smiled through her pain, trying to stay calm so I wouldn’t panic. I fell from my chair couldn’t get up on my feet … my world crumbled in that very moment. Those words no child should ever hear- they still ring in my ears.
She gave us only six months, and yet she fought like a warrior. Every treatment, every medication, every doctor’s visit—she faced it all with courage and grace. She knew, having already discussed the treatment plan with her doctor before anyone else, that the outcome was inevitable, but she never let it show. She didn’t quit!
It was hope against hope, but Maa refused go down without a fight, never letting us believe to lose hope. That’s who she was—strong, brave, and selfless until the very end.
One last time, I took Maa’s hand in mine, painted her nails with her favourite colour, dabbed a little lipstick on her still lips, and draped her in a beautiful mint colour saree.
I dressed her for her final journey, wanting her to look her best, just the way she always liked it.
And I refuse to say goodbye. Instead, I choose to celebrate Maa every single day—in the way I love, in the way I mother, in the way I try, fall, get up, and keep going. If I can be even an iota of what she was, I will feel I have lived up to her love, her strength, her compassion, and her wisdom.
I was blessed to be loved by her in a way that will carry me for the rest of my life.
Signing off
A daughter whose life began with your love.
I shall never forget when your heart stopped, and mine kept beating.
One day, when it’s my time, I know I will wake up to your face again.
Until then, I carry you in every heartbeat. 🤍
Deepshikha Chowdhury Ganju
A mother first and a technologist by profession, she enjoys exploring both the logical world of technology & the deeper mysteries of life. She believes that an unseen force gently guides our paths, teaching us through love and everyday experiences. Beyond her professional life, she enjoys playing sports, dancing, practicing yoga and spending time with family & friends over good food and meaningful conversations.
13 Comments
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Himanshu Bhushan Raina
Prichi Mami as we know was one of the most warming and welcoming soul and we have enjoyed her company for so many years
She had very strong bond people close to her
Miss her every day
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Anu
Shikha… I’m sure your mum is reading this through you and showering you with love and blessings every single moment. What a beautiful and emotional tribute – straight from the heart!
Happy Mother’s Day!! Her motherhood lives through you! -
Siddhanth Kachroo
Very well written! Reminds us of the significance of mothers on our lives
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Dr. Poonam Kachroo
So beautifully written Pammu… truly heartfelt. A mother can never truly leave her children. Massi will always live in our hearts. I cherish the beautiful memories I have with her. May her soul continue to bless us all. Sending you hugs. ♥️🙏
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Renu Dhar
Happy Mother’s day
keep Saiba’s memory alive 😊.Her youth and spirit will continue to inspire you both dear Pammu. N Deepu .life is unpredictable…hai naa as such dear
celebrate memories, and find joy in the little things our dear Pammu.
“Grief is a wave, and it’s okay if it knocks you down sometimes. But get back up, take a deep breath, and keep moving forward. Your mamma’s love and legacy will guide you.”
Stay strong, dear ❤️🌹 😊. -
Asha kanna
It is emotional tribute to Pichri Maasi.
Lucky are those who get mother’s love.
Lots of love to you dear Pammu -
Sheeetal
Shikha, The way you’ve captured a mother’s quiet strength, her invisible sacrifices, and the way her love lingers long after she’s gone feels so deeply true. I never had the chance to meet your mum, but through your writing I feel as though I’ve known her for years and could imagine having lived alongside her. It’s painful beyond what words can hold to lose someone so loving and so close, but like you say, she lives in you and continues to experience life through you. Thank you for sharing a part of her with us, and for putting into words what so many of us struggle to express.
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Rajender Koul
You The Great Daughter of the Greatest Mother…
Your words touched the deepest corners of my heart.
While Reading your tribute to your beloved mother, my sister, whom I called, Saiba from my early childhood, felt like walking through a garden of memories.Your each line is filled with love, pain, pride, and the quiet strength that only a daughter’s heart can hold.
For many she was Saiba, Pichri, and Mrs.
Basanti Chowdhury, but for those of us who truly knew her, she was much more than a name or a role.
She was a rare soul—graceful,ever compassionate, courageous, and deeply humane.
To me, she was not only a respected and admirable lady, but also my dearest elder sister whom I lovingly called Saiba and Pichri.
Her soulful heart and it’s warmth, dignity, and kindness left an imprint on everyone fortunate enough to cross her path.You have remembered her not merely with sorrow, but with the beauty of gratitude—and that is the greatest tribute a child can offer to a mother which I also appreciate and honor gracefully her perrsona.
Pichri, Your Maa was indeed a remarkable woman: a devoted mother, an inspiring educationist, a compassionate guide to many, and above all a human being whose heart overflowed with love for others.
The lives she shaped, the people she uplifted, and the values she lived by are her true legacy.
Such lives never really end they simply continue through the hearts and actions of those they nurtured.
Your description of her courage during her final months reflects the spirit of a true warrior.
Even in pain, she chose dignity; even in uncertainty, she chose hope. That strength now lives within you, in the way you remember her, love your own family, and carry forward her compassion.
The bond between a mother and daughter is one of the most sacred relationships in this world—beyond time, beyond distance, even beyond life itself.
Your Maa may no longer be visible to the eyes, but she lives in our thoughts, your values, your laughter, and in the love you pass on to others.
In truth, such mothers never leave; they simply become the silent guardians of our hearts.
Your moving words are not just a remembrance; they are a celebration of a life beautifully lived.
May the divine continue to bless her noble soul with eternal peace, and may her blessings always remain a guiding light for you and your family andxa margdarshan for all of us and our families as wellWith deep affection and heartfelt remembrance of a truly wonderful lady,
My deepest love to you dear Pummy. -
Anjali Rana
Happy Mother’s Day…we are so lucky to have chance to meet Auntie personally , get to know her and had delicious food made by her. I hope the memories you have of her bring you comfort and peace.
Missing my mom on this special day. -
DeepShikha
Feeling truly humbled by all the messages and phone calls today.
Thank you for helping me remember the good times and wonderful memories with Mum. It means so much to know I’m surrounded by all your love. ❤️ -
Minesh Khashu
Thanks Deepshika for sharing.
Putting such feelings and thoughts on paper is not just a journey, it is a pilgrimage!🙏
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Misha
So beautiful! Sending you immense love, comfort and strength! ❤️
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Geeta
This piece made me cry. Sending you lots of love. Happy Mother’s Day to all.