Not Just Rama’s Wife: Sita Tells Her Story

This story was submitted for ‘The Queens Commonwealth Essay Competition 2025′ by Ananditha Ramaswami.

My heart was in my stomach, and my legs ached. I could barely sense the stinging pain in my bare feet. I had been betrayed, and by the man I had spent years waiting for, and he had discarded me, as if I was disposable. He was far from the man I knew when I had fallen in love with him. Early in our marriage, I could look into his eyes and see the young prince I met and fell in love with. I fell to the ground, tears dampening the ground around me. I closed my eyes and pressed my face into the earth. My mother, Bhumi, the Earth on which my life stood, would protect me. It was cruel, how my husband had easily gotten rid of me.

I could remember the first time I met him. My father had sent me to greet the young prince into our kingdom. Even before meeting him, I had heard so much about him. Rama, who could shoot an arrow further than anyone in his kingdom. Rama, who was the most eligible prince, with his long, black hair, and his beautiful skin. I had stumbled through our first interaction, but he had liked me all the same. We had spent all night talking to each other. He had told me jokes and made my cheeks hurt with how much I was smiling. I had danced with him and fallen head over heels for him by the end of the night. The next day, my father allowed him to attempt to win my hand in marriage. He had challenged him to string the bow of Lord Shiva, which couldn’t be strung by a man with an ounce of selfishness in him. He looked me straight in the eyes and smiled, his soft lips curling up beautifully, and strung it, as easily as if it was his own. I wed him the next day. My heart ached at the thought.

I couldn’t see anything. The Earth surrounded me, like a mother’s embrace. I was curled into myself. I was crying so hard I barely noticed the tears, pouring like water through a stream. That man wouldn’t abandon me like this. I knew my husband would change, but I had never thought he was going to abandon me completely. I had never thought that he would break my heart into a thousand pieces. Even under Ravana’s imprisonment, all I had thought of was Rama. All I had envisioned was what I would’ve done if I saw him again, or if I could touch that face, kiss his lips, but yearning for him had not been as painful as the heartbreak I now face.

I had hidden from Ravana every day, knowing what he wanted to do with me. I waited by my window, my legs curled underneath me as I gazed through the sun-streaked gardens. It would only be a matter of time before Rama would save me. I had tried to escape before, but each attempt had come with a punishment worse than the last. I leaned my head against the bars of the window, tears flowing down my cheeks. I was startled by a voice, and a monkey’s tail curled around my wrist. “Darling, why so sad? Your husband will be here soon.” Said a now appearing monkey, that stared back at me, with a grin that showed off his sharpened teeth. I had inched away from him, scared of what he could do to me. Ravana had sent men pretending to save me before. They had done nothing but attack me, expecting me to give in to Ravana’s request for him to bed me. The monkey seemed to recognise my anguish, and he showed me my husband’s ring. Our wedding band. “I’m Hanuman, my lady. The Lord told me to give you this ring.” He bared his teeth in a human-like smile, and I mirrored it.

A month later, I had managed to stay out of trouble with Ravana and his goons, though it had meant constant hiding in fear. I was in the courtyard one night, picking flowers from a bush. The cool night air was replaced by a flash of heat. Fire blazed so close to where I was standing that I had to take a step back, to avoid my sari being set on fire. I covered my face with my hands, and when they dropped to my side…His eyes pierced mine. Staring into those eyes so soon was a dream. His hair was longer. He seemed smaller, as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks. He stood as if every breath hurt, and his fists were gripped so tightly that I could see his knuckles whitening. His bow was in his hands, which were stained red.

“Rama?” I whispered, my voice quivering. I couldn’t stop tears from pouring down my cheeks. He ran to me. I held my arms out, and he hugged me. I pulled away, his face in my hands. I kissed him hard, trying to push my love into him. I wanted to show how much I had missed him, how much pain I had been in while he was gone. I pulled away and gripped him as close as I could. “I killed them. I will ravage their land and let the rivers stain red with their blood. They will rue the day they took my wife from me; they will regret the day they took from me; the day they decided to hurt me.” His voice was low and ragged. It felt like warm honey, dripping into me. He had set the land on fire and turned the city into ruins. And we had set for home.

It started with whispers. Speculations of my infidelity while under Ravana’s hostage. They were lies, and I was sure Rama thought of them as such. I was in the throne room, helping the servants hang a tapestry from a wall. I heard footsteps, and turned to see my husband, looking weary. He had a pained smile, as if he was being wounded by simply facing me. “Rama? What do you want, my love?” I let my voice be soft, so as not to startle him. He was looking at me like I was opaque, as if he was staring through me. He did not meet my eyes. “Sita. The people…there are whispers that you were defiled in Ravana’s kingdom.” A bright fire lit my heart faster than I could recognise it. “And I have previously told you that those rumours were untrue.” I did not let my voice waver, and I did not let my eyes meet his. I was staring straight through the window into the courtyard, where I had noticed a crowd gathering. “The kingdom has requested a test of your faith. To prove your purity, you must go through the fire ordeal.” His voice shook, and I knew he was ashamed. The brave man I once adored was a coward. “You would have me walk through flames just to believe my words?”

“The kingdom…” Rama started, before I turned to him with a fixed gaze, and he fell silent. My own husband, who I had waited for so patiently, did not believe my words. “I will do your ritual.” I spoke coolly, turning to the staircase, which led to the courtyard. I had seen preparations of the flames. I had lost respect for my husband, but he was still a king. I understood that he had to take precautions for the public’s favour. He was still the man who I fell in love with.

By the time I made it to the courtyard, the fire was blazing. A crowd surrounded me, heckling and booing. So, this is what they thought of me. I stepped through the fire, all too aware of Rama’s fearful gaze. He had run after me, meekly wording excuses for his actions. I ignored him. I closed my eyes, and felt the cool blaze tickle my feet. I was devoted and true, and the flames knew it. I stepped out, and turned to him, my chin lifted. The crowd shouted insults, urging Rama to exile me anyway. She has been to another king’s palace, and she is tainted. She cannot be our queen. I brushed the insults off, my eyes not leaving Rama. He, however, seemed not to notice me. And then…“I am sorry, Sita. But it is for the good of the kingdom that you go.”

I wait, closing my eyes. I have become one with the Earth, my true mother. Though I have been betrayed, I know I will find solace in her. I know that I will be welcomed back to my true home.

This was an interpretation of a famous Asian epic titled the Ramayana, told through Sita’s perspective. In many retellings, the plot focuses on Rama’s odyssey, yet I have focused on Sita’s heartbreak and wished to give agency to her feelings with my story.