A Bowl of Kheer and a Thousand Memories
Ashtami comes back to me in small ways.
A sound I haven’t heard in years. A smell I recognise instantly. And suddenly, I am back in time.
As a child, Ashtami meant waking up before dawn when my mum would leave for Tulmul. Around 4 a.m., a Matador (small van) would stop in our mohalla (neighbourhood). A group of devotees – Neighbours, friends, aunties would step out quietly with their eyes still heavy with sleep but hearts fully awake that were drawn by the quiet pull of temple called Tulmul.
The goddess we believed in was Ragnya Devi, who’s considered as one of incarnations of Ma Durga and who was said to love kheer. Over time, the temple came to be known as Kheer Bhawani. Here people would offer milk and Kheer to Godess. Since Kheer Bhawani temple is nestled in a small village called Tul-Mul, we call this temple as TulMul in our local language.
This temple is believed to be constructed on sacred water pond, colour of which keeps changing.
Life looks very different now.
Tulmul is pretty far. The Matador doesn’t come anymore. The women of that locality are scattered across cities and countries. My mother no longer makes that early morning trips to Tulmul.
But Ashtami has stayed.
Every Ashtami, I make kheer in my home in the U.K. I do it religiously. Whether I formally observe the day or not, the kheer is made. Milk simmers. Rice softens. The pot is stirred and suddenly, memories rise uninvited, warm and fragrant.
In that moment, I am no longer just standing in my kitchen. I am a child again, listening for the Matador honking, watching my mother get ready, feeling the quiet excitement of a morning that belonged to devotion.
Today for me and for many Kashmiri Pandits, Ashtami is no longer about where we are. It is about what we carry. It is about continuing a tradition not because we must, but because we remember. Because memory, like kheer, thickens slowly and sweetens with time.
Ashtami now is a bowl of kheer.
And everything it brings back with it 🙏
Deepa Kaul
Deepa has been associated with a diplomatic mission in London for over a decade and a half, bringing with her years of experience, discipline, and commitment to her professional role. Alongside her work, the culinary world remains a personal passion. She is the voice behind DeeZ Culinary Delights, where she shares her interest in cooking and baking across Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok, often drawing inspiration from Kashmiri and home-style flavours. Baking holds a special place in her heart, and her recipes reflect warmth, creativity, and everyday comfort. Through her culinary platforms, Deepa shares food stories and flavours that connect with a wide audience.
Minesh Khashu
Thanks Deepa for sharing.
In many ways we are a collage of our memories.
Many a times people question the importance of rituals, suggesting that they are not important for our spiritual journey and suggesting that we should get rid of them as they don’t serve a meaningful purpose in our personal advancement. This argument holds true only if rituals are done without proper knowledge and understanding. With the right knowledge and state of mind, every ritual is not just a ritual. It is a prayer.
It is part of the spiritual journey. Since we live in a digital age, let me use a digital example. A ritual is like a link embedded within the text of our life. Once we click on it, it takes us not only back to our roots but also forward on our spiritual yatra.
Stay blessed
🙏