Make Sure You Learn to Ignore Your Parents

Sumran Kaul

If you’re an age where you’re wondering what path to take in the future, I’d like to share five lessons from my journey with you. My goal is for you to reflect on your current thinking (rather than take the title literally : )

First, some background on me. I grew up in London and studied Economics and Management at Leeds Business School a few hours away from home. I turned down better universities in London because I wanted to move away for a ‘fuller’ experience because the truth is I wanted to go to university to live, not study. I’ve now spent the past 15+ years in a number of leading companies within media and marketing. It’s an interesting ‘industry’ because we all interact with it every day, but very few know much about it behind the scenes where the rich, powerful and influential across society are pulling the strings. 

My own work has essentially revolved around understanding why we behave the way we do, how we’re influenced by the world around us, and then using these insights to help companies (or the Government) make decisions that quietly impact everyday lives across society. The work is varied, the people eclectic ranging from mad creative geniuses to data scientists, from hot shot 25-year-old entrepreneurs to 60 year newspaper editors. The best parts are the close connection it has with the wider world and it’s fast-paced nature, where the biggest companies today might not exist in ten years, while the biggest companies in ten years might not even exist today. Its changing nature is driven by accelerations in technology and so it’s always been ideal for young people. It was when my own journey started aged 21 and it is even more now. 

My actual ‘career’ started at a leading ‘global professional services’ company called PwC. You’re Kashmiri so you’ve probably heard of it. It started as work experience during the final year of my studies thanks to my dad, this led to summer employment during university and eventually a graduate job offer. Great company, status and pay but I found the work boring and so I declined. It was an opportunity the likes my dad’s generation could never imagine turning down (…but then they would never even be asked on account of being Indian). A generation on, even feeling I had a choice was a privilege I didn’t initially recognise. I left with no plan B and spent the next few months researching possible industries, while 

making modest amounts of money travelling up and down the country playing in five-a-side football tournaments where the winners won money (I was a good player in a good team). I eventually stumbled across ‘media’. It felt fresh and different to the usual paths tread in our culture (…you know the ones). 

I applied for a graduate job at a TV broadcaster called ITV, which is the biggest ‘commercial’ group in the UK. I landed a role in their commercial team which involved identifying and negotiating with big brands who wanted to advertise on TV. You didn’t think much of it at the time but every day you played with choices about how to fill ‘airtime’ (aka advert breaks) which had a collective value of millions. 

After a few years of this, I got bored and managed to ‘blag’ a ‘market research and intelligence’ role at an organisation called Ofcom, which helps regulate many media industries (e.g., TV, Radio, Mobile networks, postal services) on behalf of the UK Government. It has wide ranging powers but essentially looks to ensure people’s interests are protected and that competition remains healthy. In practise, the work was very varied. In a single week I could be speaking to the public about their thoughts on sex and violence on TV, helping set rules on the delivery of news, how to help get broadband in a remote village in Scotland or trying to make progress on impossible tasks like how to help protect peoples’ privacy online. 

I learnt a huge amount there. I also had no right to be there. I didn’t have the experience or skills needed, but said I did in the interview. They believed me, hired me, very quickly saw I didn’t know what I was doing (!) but because they liked me, stuck with me, I learnt and progressed really well to the point they often ask me to come back now. (A good example of what matters is not how you start, but how you end up!). 

After a few years I wanted to move back into the ‘private sector’ where salaries are higher (Ofcom was a non-profit making organisation). I landed a ‘strategy’ role at a global publishing empire called News Corporation. They own many leading newspaper brands like The Times & The Sunday Times and The Wall Street Journal (as well as other well-known but less respected ones). Again, I didn’t have the right experience, but this time they knew, and I’d learnt from Ofcom how to bring value when you’re an ‘outsider’. My work here was broad but involved helping re-shape a business which makes most of it’s money from printed newspapers but now had to find new ways in a world where people read them less and less.

It was an environment where the ambitions were ridiculous and unrealistic – which meant many people didn’t last long and failure was frequent, but one where incredible achievement became routine. 

Nearly a decade on I knew I needed a new challenge and looked for a smaller company where you can influence more decisions. By good fortune and timing, an ex-boss headhunted me to join him at a
Swedish-based technology ‘start up’ which helps advertisers understand how effective their marketing has been. I joined Brand Metrics nearly two years ago, and in this time, we’ve rapidly grown to now be working with leading media companies across 17 countries. As usual I walked in knowing little, and now know…well, about the same : ) So that’s pretty much my journey. Different companies, different cultures, different challenges. Instead of specific achievements, I’d like to share five some lessons from along my way. 

1. Hold your goals lightly, not tightly

As the saying goes, you make plans and then life gets in the way. Many people overly struggle from setbacks, not because of the actual experience, but because they were too fixed in their expectations.

1. Define what success means to you 

The younger you are, the more you define success by what the wider world does (especially your parents). But only you live your internal life, so learn to find, build and listen to the voice of the ‘real’ inner you. 

1. No one cares about you

The best career advice I received was “Remember, no one cares about you”. Brash, but helpful. Schools and parents teach you to be obedient, but in the ‘grown up’ world, it is those who take initiative who do best. 

1. The difference between the best and the rest is audacity 

I’ve got to know some incredibly successful people. The sort movies are made about. What sets them apart is rarely talent, hard work, or access to opportunity but ‘audacity’. The school system and our culture (over) values rational and practical thinking. There is good reason for this, and it helps nurture successful people. But the truth is, the exceptionally successful are often irrational, impractical and dreamers. All children have boundless imagination, then the adults around us ‘educate’ it out of us. They work off evidence and from what they know and have seen. But the eternal fact of social progress is the world you are growing into is different to the one we are from. You can be more than we can see and be more than we could be. 

1. Character is the best predictor of success

I’ve interviewed, coached and mentored talent at all companies I’ve worked at (including people much more senior and experienced than me) and have done similar in the world of football where after many years as a semi-professional player I am now a qualified coach. What I’ve seen time and time again is when it comes to predicting long term success, the best indicator is not talent (or academic records), but mentality. Who thinks for themselves? Who wants to win vs wants to grow? Who faces their fears? Dare I say it to a Kashmiri audience, but who has the courage and conviction to analyse and challenge authority?

And who embraces failure? If you’ve not failed much, then I wonder how much you have stretched yourself as a person. Character grows from experience. 

So, explore different things, test yourself,  fail, learn. Repeat.

So, there you have it. 1) Don’t have goals; 2) ignore what parents tell you; 3) remember no one cares about you; 4) please be irrational and 5) keep failing. 

As I said, I hope this gets you reflecting on how you think. 

If you have any feedback or want to find out more about anything, please feel free to contact [email protected]