How Are You… Really?

Hey, let me start by asking you this: when someone asks, “How are you?” or “How’s your health?” — what comes to mind first?

For most of us, it’s physical health. We think about our body — our energy levels, aches, sleep, or maybe that nagging cold that won’t go away. And don’t get me wrong, physical health is Very important. But it’s only one piece of the puzzle.

There’s another piece — one that’s just as important, if not more — and that’s mental health. Our mental health impacts Everything — our body, relationships, work, and sense of purpose in life. Physical health and mental health are deeply intertwined. I sometimes feel that mental health can even take priority, because when our mind struggles, everything else feels harder to manage. And mental health struggles can make a person feel alone. The challenge is that mental health struggles are often invisible. People can see a broken arm or a fever, but they can’t see anxiety, depression, or burnout. And that invisibility often leads to a lack of empathy — or worse, stigma.

When something isn’t visible, it’s easier for people to misunderstand. To dismiss. To say things like:

“Just snap out of it.”

“It’s in your head.”

And in some (actually, Many) cultures, mental health struggles are even seen as a sign of weakness. But let me say this clearly — none of that is true.

Mental health struggles are real. Very real. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI, USA), we all have or know someone who has experienced a mental health challenge at some point in their lives. According to World Health Organization, over 1 billion people worldwide are living with a mental health condition such as anxiety or depression.

That’s why it’s so important to talk about it.

Speaking up about your mental health isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a sign of courage.

So, check in with your loved ones. Ask how they’re really doing — and hold space for honest answers. Listen without judgment. Offer support — both emotional and practical. Sometimes, support means helping connect them with a therapist or physician. Other times, it’s simply showing up and saying, “I’m here for you.”

And please, don’t minimize their feelings or make them feel guilty for struggling.

I’ve been there myself. When I was juggling life as a new mom, wife, and professional, I experienced debilitating anxiety. From the outside, everything looked perfect — but inside, I was falling apart.

And here’s the thing — you don’t need a “reason” to struggle with anxiety, depression, or any mental illness. Pain doesn’t always come with an “obvious” cause. Anxiety, depression, mental illness—they aren’t always triggered by something obvious. They can just be. And that’s okay.

That’s why it’s especially important to check on your loved ones — including your children. With the added pressures of social media and constant comparison, kids today face challenges we never had. What we see isn’t always the whole story.

So next time, don’t just ask “How are you?” — ask “How are you, really?”

And listen and offer help.

Because there is help. I am living proof of that.

Also, if you are struggling with a mental health issue- Remember, you are not alone!